Father Andrew's Hot Body Gym

June 16, 2009

Diet – My Cardinal Rule

Filed under: diet — Tags: , , , , — joshuaeller @ 1:50 pm

Even after I became an avid crossfitter, it took a while for me to take a serious look at the nutrition claims of crossfitters and The Zone diet. I can still remember arguing with my dear friend, Steven, over what I (then) considered preposterous claims about dietary fat, protein intake, etc. Alas, those blissful days of youthful ignorance are long lost. Even though I still don’t weigh the food that I do eat (I guess just don’t care enough about a 5 minute Fran time yet), I have experienced tremendous personal success at losing excess fat and gaining lean muscle mass. I can honestly say that I am in the best shape of my life, and it is largely due to finally having applied myself to a healthy eating regimen – one that I enjoy, one that is holistic and balanced, and one that is satisfying.

All of that being said, I think the one thing that has made this such a transformative experience has been learning how to snack appropriately, especially when I am out and about town. Hello. My name is Joshua, and I am Fast Food Junkie. I have a (not so closet) adulterous relationship with grease and trans fats. I love fast food. Of course, this isn’t a true, virtuous form of love. It is a twisted, perverse love that springs from the heart of a world that has itself gone awry. Nonetheless, I still love it. And more times that not, I would easily find myself done in by the siren song of savory burgers and fries. Whether or not you can identify with my deep-seated, libidinous yearning for a Big Mac, everyone has their weak spots. And for me, this is where snacking rightly understood changed my life.

I finally learned that I should never be with out a bag of nuts and seeds, and a protein bar. They have become a staple of my man bag. I no longer live in fear of the self-flagellation required to drive by a Wendy’s when I haven’t eaten for a measly 3 hours. I no longer fork over my hard earned money to a ghoulish clown and his double arches. I am finally free to live fully in the light of the second gospel of forging elite fitness. Give it a try and see how freedom feels.


  1. I can confirm this miraculous change that has occurred. Only now, as he is able to bring his habit into the light, am I realizing the depth of Joshua's secretive and depressive dependency on the most evil of all American inventions: fast food. And the change is visible.

    That lower belly bubble of fat that once was thought to be genetically permanent has suddenly vanished, without sacrificing muscle mass elsewhere. And when there are bumper plates and bar racks to be bought, who can afford such carb-filled binges?

    I too have learned the importance of having quality snacks on hand. Bad food attacks you when you’re weak, and there’s nothing like a sudden precipitous dip in blood sugar to leave me totally defenseless to any calorie that sets its sights on me. In these times of need, almonds are my shield and a protein bar my sword, and together we send unwanted carbs and fat running in fear.

    However, the extra body fat has not gone the way of the Dodo. No. It lurks in the shadows, ready to pounce back on the abs (or thighs, in my case) at the merest opportunity. For this reason, brethren, we must come together in support of one another, lifting each other up when one’s willpower fails and gaining strengths from each other’s victories.

    Now say it with me: "Your body is a temple…

    Comment by Maravilla — June 16, 2009 @ 3:11 pm

  2. What kind of Protein bars do you all get?

    Comment by Micah Vandegrift — June 16, 2009 @ 6:24 pm

  3. We buy some from Costco for convenience and preservatives (you can keep them in your bag indefinitely). Right now they are selling actual Zone brand bars, which are pretty good.

    Eventually I want to make our own for everyday purposes, but I don't have a great reicpe down yet. Below is the one I liked the best of the three I tried, but I want to see how it is with some coconut added in. I sent this recipe to Abby. They are super rich (high fat, but as we've learned, that's good), so I would cut them into 16 bars rather than 8.

    Fudgey-Nutty Bars

    2 and 1/3 cups vanilla protein powder
    1 oz square unsweetened chocolate
    1/2 cup butter
    4 oz cream cheese
    1 oz chopped almonds
    1 tsp vanilla
    1 tsp peanut butter
    1/4 cup Splenda (or a little honey or stevia or brown sugar to taste)


    Melt butter, cream cheese, peanut butter and chocolate in bowl in microwave. Mix together very well and then add splenda & vanilla, mixing well again.

    Add walnuts and protein powder and mix. It will be difficult and messy to mix, you will have to use your hands near the end to knead it all together, squeezing so that the powder is incorporated into the mixture.

    Now place in an 8×8 0r 9×9 baking pan, flatten and refrigerate. When cooled and hardened, cut into 8 bars. Per bar: 21 grams protein, 3.15 carbs.

    It's hard to beat that carb-to-protein ratio!

    Comment by Maravilla — June 16, 2009 @ 6:50 pm

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